A Dream With My Daddy

 Since my Papa passed away last December 10, 2012. I admit, I am looking forward to see him or have a conversation with him in my dreams. But, I'm a bit hesitant talking to him or seeing him personally as I know I'll freak out! During the wake, my mom even whispered to my papa "Don't scare me 'ling (for darling)". Papa knows we love to hear his ghost stories (well, aside from his funny jokes! haha) but we are always scared as hell even when going downstairs in the middle of the night or even going outside of our house in the province which is much creepier. He was our knight in shining armor during those times. 

  Everyday since that day, I was always asking my mom and the rest of the family if they had a dream about Papa. Nothing as of that moment. I've told this to my colleagues and they said that perhaps my Papa is already fine with God, with no unfinished business whatsoever and could be happily contented with his life here on earth. We're all glad if that's the case. 

  Last December 23rd, I was so excited preparing the stuff for my Papa for our next day's visit. The whole family decided to visit him on the afternoon of 24th and we would spend the Christmas eve at my brother Allan and his wife Elfe's house. I bought some colorful, fancy shaped candles, two candle holders, printed out an epitaph with his picture coz his actual epitaph for his grave wasn't finished yet, and bought a picture frame for that. Crying or bursting to tears while I look at his photos seemed to be a regular occurrence then. My hubby bought 3 sets of flowers- yellow, white and orange- these colors being my Papa's favorite. I have also instructed the memorial park guy to have a tent and chairs set up at my Papa's grave. The next morning, we're planning to bring his favorite foods to his grave.

Papa rests beside his niece Anna Lorenn

  So in the morning of December 24th. There he was. My Papa lying lifeless on a bed in the mortuary. I was on a state of shock. I was devastated. Suddenly, I saw the rise and fall of his tummy. I jumped and screamed "Put on the oxygen!!!" The staff did put on the oxygen, but I was surprised when my Papa pulled it off from his nostrils. I screamed again and shouted at the top of my lungs to put it on to save my Papa. The staff immediately did so, and there he was, revived, breathing and was transferred to a normal bed. I was so happy!! I went to the other side of his bed, embraced him tightly and sobbed, telling him "Papa, this is just so painful!! It's so painful, you going away, this is so painful." He stroked my hair and told me "It's ok. It's ok. I know it's painful, really, but it's ok." Then I replied, "Yes Papa, but this is very painful!!" then I asked my hubby who was standing on the other side of the bed, "Get out and call mama. Tell her Papa is alive!!" My hubby hurriedly went out to look for my mom. The next instant, I was hugging my Papa, telling him these words: "Papa, thanks for everything. For saving my life multiple times. Sorry for my shortcomings. I love you so much Papa!!" And from there the overlapping of my dream and reality happened. I just woke up from a dream that seemed so real....  

  A lot of things could be interpreted from that dream. The list could go on. From scientific basis to religious   ones or mere superstition- there could be tons! From his pulling off the oxygen and his words telling me that everything will be ok. I don't know. All I am certain is that my Papa is now happy with the Lord and also contented with his life well spent here on earth. I am glad I was able to tell him those words. I am happy I was able to hug him tightly. I felt a sudden comfort when he stroke my hair. His touch- everything was real. Who knows? It might be real on the other side of life he now calls his home...

Our family with Ate Mher and Kuya Tom's family