Our First Christmas Without Papa

   I always thought that celebrating Christmas which was merely two weeks after my Papa's death is impossible. Who could enjoy it if we are all still grieving? Two weeks ago we were talking about how nice my Papa's hospital private room was. It was large enough and convenient for us to bring some food and celebrate Christmas with him even if he's confined in the hospital. Unfortunately, the day after we talked about it, our Papa bid goodbye... The most painful ever. Indescribable pain. So again, how could we possibly celebrate Christmas?  But God has been good to us. And he made it possible. He guided us with his powerful hands  to still be happy in celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ despite the fact that we no longer have our Papa around. For us to celebrate the birth of our Savior and also close to the time in which my Papa went back home to the loving arms of God. It's as if there's this some kind of a force telling us that we should still be celebrating, have fun, be merry and bond with the rest of the family. Well, that's what we did.

  For the Christmas eve, we had ham, beef with broccoli, Adobo, fried chicken, Escabeche (fish in tomato sauce), pancit canton (noodles), puto cake, fruit salad (with grapes!!) and the Hallow-Mallow cake from Bannaple among others. While we were waiting for the foods to be set at the table, we watched Home Alone 2 in HBO and we were still laughing to our hearts' content to an old time Christmas movie fave of ours. When the clock strikes 12 and everything's in place on the dinner table, we put my Papa's picture frame at the head of the table. Then our loving mama led the prayer. After that, I put some rice, ham, beef, pancit and fried chicken to a plate especially for my Papa, and put it beside his picture frame...  And I know my Papa wants that too. I imagine him saying "Thank you Joy" upon serving that plate to him... I can feel it in my heart, reminiscing those words when I show simple acts of love and kindness to him when he was still alive. Then we all ate- our whole family spent the Christmas eve together. My Papa loved that. He always wanted us to be happy. He loved the sound of our laughter. He loved watching us eat those yummy dishes with a big appetite. The difference now is that we could no longer hear his funny stories and jokes... All we are enjoying now are his memories.

Our first Christmas without Papa

  I know, in that moment, his spirit was with us. And we are so thankful that God made that easy- for us to be strong enough to face our loss with positiveness and faith on Him that my Papa is all ok. And that all of us too will be ok...

  My brother mentioned that a person has two kinds of death: biological and in memory. A person's earthy body may die, of course. But if that person is always remembered and always loved, then his life will continue forever. His presence and influence will be remembered through time. And that's what we are committed to do with our Papa. His sickness made him suffer. Death made his body deteriorate. But his soul is now in heaven with the Lord. He will always be remembered. His memories will always be cherished. He will always be included in the important events in our lives, generation through generation. His influence and traits will run through our veins- through the next generation's veins.. He will be immortalized. Our Papa will  then live forever.

Bannaple's Hallow-Mallow cake that says
"Merry Christmas We Love You PapaLo"