Papa's Visit In My Dream

I'm so glad that my dad visited me in my dream yesterday. It was all blurry, as with any other dream but the definition of his face was crystal clear. He was lying on a bed and he just stood beside me, asking me to place an electricfan beside his bed as well as hand him a blanket. He was looking fine- not too healthy and not too sickly. When I gave him what he asked, he went back to bed and slept. I really have no idea on what was it about. I can't even produce a "possible" explanation as to what happened. Nevertheless, I felt better seeing him alive in my dream. That's the only way I can see him alive, aside from the photos of our wonderful times together, as well as the videos which showed the bittersweet memories of him- the Christmas celebrations and the random shots filled with his smiles, his voice and laughter, as well as a video in a hospital where he was lying for several days, talking with a voice that was never really "him"- weak, tired and in pain. God I miss him terribly, especially now that his birthday is approaching. It's been almost two years, but the pain still brings me to tears. Tears that express all the guilt, regret, sadness and loss...

Sometimes, when I look at your photos, I couldn't believe that you're really gone... I miss you Pops!

Fatherhood Quotes

I've been planning to compile a list of quotes about fathers and celebrations that relate to fatherhood. Oh, given my busy schedule, I need to find time for me to achieve that task. I know that it'll serve as an inspiration to me but to those who are seeking comfort by reading heartfelt quotes about their fathers!

I will definitely Will post the said compilation here soon! :)

Strengthened By Faith

I did one of the most drastic decisions in my life last year- and now I did one again. I full of optimism and faith that God will grant us success in every endeavor that we are going to make. I don't want to be stuck in my comfort zone and be scared forever for failing. The worst has happened to me- that's losing my dad- and I don't wanna lose the essence of living while I am still alive.

Thank you Lord for the enlightenment and strength. I surrender everything to you. Please continually guide us. 

Papa, thank you for inspiring us. You are always remembered and loved!

Forever Thankful...

So thankful to God that He has given me another year filled with so many blessings, a huge part of those blessings are intangible ones but so far the most important- love, affection, generosity, strength and courage, among others. I had a week-long birthday celebration till the 1st week of July (and still lacked the funds, mind you!). Went out of town with my hubby and son, had a mini-feast at home with the whole fam and took some treats to the office for my friends and colleagues. I love the feeling of being able to share my blessings (despite of its limited-ness) and I would love to practise generosity not only on special occasions like this but on a regular basis- I thank my dad for showing me how he lived by generosity and open-handedness when he was still alive...

Love you Pops and I continually do my best to improve and live by the positive things you've taught me...

My Second Birthday Without Papa: Realizations

This coming Monday is my 30th birthday- the 2nd birthday celebration without Papa. The thought of his passing still brings me to tears. I will never get over it. I miss him on the regular days and miss him terribly on the special events and great milestones in my life. While I was able to learn a lot from him when he was still alive, I've realized that I've gained several life lessons when he left us. Brevity of life, appreciation,  self-reflection by being in touch with myself and spending quality time with my loved ones are just some of the few realizations that I was able to ponder on when he died. I admit that I've been doing a lot of new things now, which I was always procrastinating on before. Bold choices and drastic decisions are also a part of it. I don't know if I'm running out of time, but sure his passing led me to this thinking that we have to maximize our time here on Earth. Grab the opportunity that God has given us. Live the life the way we want it to be. Build our dreams not only for ourselves but for our children and the succeeding generations. We may not be able to stay here on Earth for good- but as one saying goes, we should hope to create something that will last- forever.

"Dear Lord, thank you for the blessing of another year. Please grant me as well as my loved ones many more birthdays to come. And help us live by the wisdom our Papa has shared with us. Papa, thank your for being an instrument for me to have the gift of life. We love and miss you!"

Second Father's Day Without my Father

Last Father's Day was the 2nd Father's Day celebration without Papa around. We went to visit his resting place, brought some snacks and spent the Sunday afternoon bonding with the whole family- held a prayer then went on chatting about everything and anything. The focal point of our chit-chats was a business plan. I am confident that if Papa was there listening to our discussion, he will be extremely happy. He's got brilliant ideas with regards to putting up businesses. It's just that he wasn't able to execute them all. He's got amazing

strategies that he casually shared with us and although he was not able to fully actualize them, the lessons in life as well as his words of wisdom will always be cherished. 

"Happy Father's Day Papa. It's true, your guiding hand will remain with us forever. Please pray for our plans. May God bless us on our endeavor! "

My Parents' 38th Wedding Anniversary

On May 19, we celebrated my parents' 38th wedding anniversary. Hard as it may seem but it's the 2nd wedding anniversary that we celebrated without my Papa around. Missing him is an understatement...

It was a Monday and so we weren't able to visit Papa in his resting place. Simple meals and gifts for Mama (I've given her a set of beauty essentials), our  greetings with hugs and kisses were all enough for her to cheer up. A offered prayer for my Papa's soul and for my mom's strength to face the loneliness of missing Papa and the challenges that will come along our way. There are still a lot of things to do, so many dreams to achieve in so little time. God grant us the hours and chance to achieve them.


Wherever you are Pops, Happy Wedding Anniversary to you and Mama! We love and miss you!

Another Great Song To Aid My Grief

I've been listening to the song Takipsilim since last week and hands down to Gloc 9 and Regine Velasquez! Being in the same genre of OPM but having different styles, I never expected that their collaboration will become a huge success! Musically, the song is superb. Not too melancholic and not that upbeat. It's a great candidate for a LSS (Last Song Syndrome) indeed. Lyrically, it's one of the best. I could say that the literal meaning and the underlying tones of the song discuss a lot of things in life. The song is like a short story that tackles about the people we lose, the actions we did prior to losing that special someone, the regrets, the realization that we couldn't never take them back and the lesso- everything enveloped with a music that is a mixture of subtle melodies that allows you to reminisce and reflect and the upbeat tones that'll energize you with loads of positivity and to look forward to a brand new life! To learn from the mistakes of the past, to face what has happened with full acceptance and an undying faith to God to get up and move on with our lives from that pain.


*Will include a YouTube link soon! :)

Song for the Grieving Heart: Salamat by Yeng Constantino

The song "Salamat" by Yeng Constantino has been played in 2006 I believe. It's a lovely song and though I appreciate the transformation of Yeng Constantino through the years, this song is truly beautiful melodically and lyrically. It's also very applicable for those who have been heartbroken- both by love and by death. I could relate to the latter, or maybe both coz I've lost my Papa- experiencing his loving ways through his presence will never happen again when he left us. I couldn't help myself but cry while I heartwrenchingly reminisce the days we have with my Pops. Regrets, regrets... Everything I've done, words I've spoken and all the things I've shown were never enough.

May this song be a help to you as well in easing the pain of losing a loved one. 



Salamat Pa! 

Celebrating My Mom's Birthday in 2014

Celebrating my mom's birthday has always been a bit painful ever since Papa has left us. When Papa was still alive, there have been a few birthdays where we were not really able to celebrate it in an extravagant way due to financial constraints though we were happy appreciating the blessings of yet another year. When someone you love is gone, having your birthday without that loved one beside you is truly difficult. There's just some kind of natural pain that cannot be eased and a void that cannot be filled even if you're having a luxurious party without that person...

We celebrated my mom's birthday simply at home. A few of yummy Filipino dishes were served. Halo-halo ice cream and the Conti's Mango Bravo are a staple. A week after her birthday, hubby and I decided to give her an all expense-paid trip to Subic! She was very excited when I told her about it. We booked a premier suite with breakfast  for her and Ate Lita and a deluxe suite for me, hubby and baby at the Subic Waterfront Resort and Hotel. We stayed there after spending a night at hubby's house with his family. That's our 2014 birthday treat for Mama and we had so much fun! Yet all the time we were wishing that we have Papa with us to have a some rockin' good time. 


We miss you Papa! Thanks for visiting mama in her dreams on the day of her birthday. You truly love us!  :)