Childhood Memories With Papa

Afternoon naps with him.
A swing made of an old tire under a huge mango tree.
The day he enrolled me in 4th grade and accompanied me in buyning school supplies.
The medal he put on me during the awarding.
The black shirt with that green leopard's head print. The animal print trend and Katy Perry's "Roar" style make me recall those days when I shyly wore that shirt in 1997! 
These are the memories I'll treasure forever. 

Whew! As the song goes, "If only I could turn back time..." :)


Dad, you loved me. You extremely loved me! I miss you...

Second Valentine's Day Without Papa

The Valentines Day year fell on a Friday so our family decided to have a double celebration done as an afternoon bonding on Papa's resting place. I wasn't able to come as I was sick (curse that wisdom tooth, ugh!) and my son was just recently discharged from the hospital. Hubby took care of us of course and so the three of us decided to stay home.

Our close relatives also joined the rest of the family on that visit. If Papa's looking down from heaven, a smile will surely be painted on his face as we celebrate Ate Lita's birthday and Valentines day on where his earthy body lies. 

Happy Valentines Day Pops! 

Thank you for all the love and care you showered upon me for 28 years! Our love for you will never end when you have gone back home to the Lord. 

How to Deal with the Death of a Loved One

I'm glad to include here my article in dealing with the pains of losing a loved one. I have written it just days after my Dad has passed away. It helped me big time to cope with his death and I also hope that it will aid others in handling their grief whatever way they choose to. 

How to Deal with the Death of a Loved One

2nd New Year Without Papa

Time flies by very fast indeed. Before we knew it, we were all geared up towards meeting the new year 2014. We have decided to celebrate it at my brother Allan house. I was very happy to spend it with my family but still feel a sense of incompleteness knowing that Papa isn't with us anymore. We brought his photo there, offered a prayer and talked about a lot of familial stuff but still that void will never be filled. The challenge is how we would face that reality. And we all have chosen to deal with it with a whole lot of positivity. I know Papa is guiding us every in every step we take- taking care of us and praying for us. He will always be in our hearts forever. 


Dad, you will never be forgotten... Happy New Year!

2nd Christmas Without Papa (2013)

It's the 2nd Christmas without Papa around. Of course, this one's less painful than the one in 2012 but it is still PAINFUL!! God, we miss him badly and I know that deep in our hearts we only have one wish- for him to be with us again, and knowing that it's impossible then we go to our next option of offering a prayer for him and just be present for each other.  I'm glad that our family is closer now but also sad that we had to experience this kind of loss before getting closer to each other. I mean, we were fine way before but what we have right now is some kind of a bond that is mixed with a fear of losing each other...



Merry Christmas Papa!! Please pray for us, that God may give us strength without you. You're always in our prayers Papa, never a day passes without thinking of you and a prayer offered for you. We love you Papa!!

2nd Memorial Tattoo

I have gotten my 2nd Tribute tat for my father several days after his 1st Death Anniversary and just a couple of days before Christmas. I did it to honor his memories and also the pain I've went through with it signifies the end of my mourning. But as I've stated with my recent blog, I don't think my grief will end. Nevertheless, it's one of the gifts that I had for him as I do believe that my prayers, cherishing his memories and the pain I had while getting the tat done are the intangible things that I feel are worth offering to him.

It's his signature with a heart!! :)


I love you so much Pops! Don't know if you still feel our love or we will meet again but FAITH is the only thing that keeps me holding on. 

Papa's First Death Anniversary

365 days. Yes. It has been a year since my Dad left us.

365 days filled with happiness, sorrow, grief, regrets and longing. Days with sudden chuckles brought about by his memories and moments of outbursts- tears from the pain of losing him. Whenever the truth hits me, the realization just comes over and over again- we will never bring him back. God has taken my dad away from us, but closer to Him. 

Last December 10, we have celebrated his First Death Anniversary or "Babang Luksa". My mom told me that it's the time where the mourning of the bereaved families end. We have decided to offer a mass for him in St. Joseph's Parish Anonas, Q.C. A prayer ceremony filled with songs was also held at his resting place in the afternoon. We had 12 white balloons to commemorate him. At around 5 pm, we have decided to head to Renaissance Cafeteria at the Renaissance Convention Center, in Riverbanks Center Marikina. We had our closest family and relatives attend the dinner for our Papa. 

The prayer ceremony held at his resting place

Hope that balloon reaches you Pops! :)

Our Giveaways

Papa

The Buffet

Truly, we have enjoyed the buffet!

The tarp made my Mom cry while we were on our way to Papa's resting place. 

The giveaways- colorful cupcakes! 

I'm so glad that we're able to pull it off successfully! 


As for me, I don't think this grief will end at that point. Right at this very moment, I couldn't imagine myself not grieving for him. I will cherish his memories and I could say that with surety, but the pain of him leaving us will still hurt till the very end- I know. 

All Souls Day Trip: Our Potipot Island Getaway

Our All Soul's Day trip was a family outing at Dawal Resort in Candelaria, Zambales and also at the beautiful Potipot Island.   On Nov. 1 I had to go to work as my leave wasn't approved. Still I thank God that He has given me the energy to enjoy our weekend activity- Our Potipot Island Getaway!! 

Around 8 am on Nov. 2, all of us boarded the Nissan Urvan my brother hired to get to Dawal Resort in Cadelaria, Zambales. It was a 5-trip and we enjoyed the views alongside the playfulness of my son and niece. 

We had 2 rooms for us which was spacious enough. The rooms were clean and so were the toilets. The overall appearance of the resort is pretty much well-maintained. My brother Allan even mentioned that Dawal Beach Resort has gained great reviews and ratings. The service of the staff is also commendable. 

My mom and some of us took a nap but I didn't, haha! At around 2 pm in the afternoon, it began to rain. We were all keeping our fingers crossed that it'll stop coz we don't have any choice but to postpone it for next day, though it could be a hassle as our Saturday plan would include the island trip and the swimming pool activity would be for the next day. Thank God, the rain stopped! And so we were able to go back to our original plan. 

The boat ride going to the island from the resort was a short one. We weren't able to savor it. But that's fine, we were able to maximize to travel around the island in around 2 hours!  

These are the small things that made our island trip extra special: 
- a yellow butterfly flying around us
- a live starfish
- a rainbow
- the rainbow colored water
- the rainbow colored sky!

When we headed back to the resort, we were extremely tired yet our souls refreshed. Refreshed of the bonding we had with each other, refreshed with the beauty of nature we're at and refreshed that Papa is watching over us. Thoughts of him still bring lumps on my throat. I badly miss him. Just had to shrug it off... 



I have noticed a yellow butterfly flying around our van going to and fro Zambales. Another one during our trip on the island itself and another one on the swimming pool. Perhaps it's Papa! I wish he is with us physically but I know, wherever he is, he is smiling and happy knowing that the family he has established is now stronger than ever... 



will post more photos soon, internet connection getting slow this weekend. :)

All Saint's Day 2013

Of all the days I've filed as a Vacation Leave, I am still thankful- Oct. 31 was approved!!

So we were able to go on an overnight stay at my Papa's gravesite in Heaven's Gate Memorial Gardens. We arrived there at around 8 pm on Thursday and left at lunchtime the next day. Here in the Philippines, during All Saint's Day, cemeteries go super alive! Cemeteries are well-lit, mini-stores everywhere and tents and even the camping ones fill the place, and kids flying their colorful kites are just a regular thing during this time. Drinking sprees until the wee hours of morning by my hubby, brothers and nephews as well as chit-chats.
Good thing there were no mosquitoes and the cold temperature was bearable.

In the sunny morning of Nov. 1, my mom led a prayer while sticking numerous candles for all the souls that we remember, followed by a filling meal and some chit-chats too.

I know Pops appreciated our stay there!

My Halloween Wish

For my VLs (Vacation Leave) to be approved! I've filed for these dates: October 29-November 1, followed by my weekend off. I am praying and hoping for this to be granted as the 29th of October is my me and my hubby's 11th Wedding Anniversary followed by our preparation for our overnight stay at my Papa's Resting place in All Saint's Day and All Soul's Day. We'll be doing this on the 31st of October.

My brother Allan also has arranged a trip to the majestic Potipot Island, Zambales on the 2nd and 3rd of November so I am praying God to grant me these VLs to be approved and for Papa to pray for me so that I could spend some time with him at his gravesite as well as to bond with our family and not to be too much exhausted and time-pressured with our trip. Nevertheless, I am hopeful that we could pull this off successfully!



Lord, please give this to me! Papa, please pray for me. All for the family! We miss you so much Pops!