I'm so glad that my dad visited me in my dream yesterday. It was all blurry, as with any other dream but the definition of his face was crystal clear. He was lying on a bed and he just stood beside me, asking me to place an electricfan beside his bed as well as hand him a blanket. He was looking fine- not too healthy and not too sickly. When I gave him what he asked, he went back to bed and slept. I really have no idea on what was it about. I can't even produce a "possible" explanation as to what happened. Nevertheless, I felt better seeing him alive in my dream. That's the only way I can see him alive, aside from the photos of our wonderful times together, as well as the videos which showed the bittersweet memories of him- the Christmas celebrations and the random shots filled with his smiles, his voice and laughter, as well as a video in a hospital where he was lying for several days, talking with a voice that was never really "him"- weak, tired and in pain. God I miss him terribly, especially now that his birthday is approaching. It's been almost two years, but the pain still brings me to tears. Tears that express all the guilt, regret, sadness and loss...
Sometimes, when I look at your photos, I couldn't believe that you're really gone... I miss you Pops!
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