Christmas 2014

Last December 25th was our 3nd Christmas celebration without Papa around. Though we miss him very much, I am still deeply grateful for we were able to spend this very special occasion with the rest of my family. All those gift-giving, merrymaking and the heaps of foods almost resembling a mini-festival, oh, I won't ever get tired of it! This is certainly an occasion for kids, and my son and niece were the highlight of Christmas Eve as they were the happiest ones when the clock strike 12! Hubby and I sneaked downstairs before going to bed, and placed a gift on our son's Santa sock. During the Christmas season, he was really expecting to meet Santa Clause! Although he wasn't able to see Santa the next day, he was very much happy when he found out the so called Santa's gift! He realized that although he has been naughty most of the time during the year, Santa was still able to see the good deeds that he has done, like praying, following our reminders, fulfilling is school tasks, helping the needy and going to church, among others. Santa is not only symbolic of the Christmas season and of generosity, but he signifies the mercy and big-heartedness of our dear Lord. I remember my Papa. Like Santa, he embodies someone who would let my mistakes pass, find the good in me and gives me happiness. These are the people and characters that God has sent us to remind us that love is everywhere. 

I miss you Pa! You're always in my heart....

Remembering My Parents' Marriage

Celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary was a blast! My hubby, our son, and I spent it in an urban getaway. We stayed at a hotel, went swimming, tried out several dishes, took some ice cream and cake to our suite and had a super great bonding time!  I think about the 3 decades that my mom and dad have shared. There have been challenges but they've always been strong enough to overcome them. I gain inspiration and strength from the love, faith and dedication that my mom and dad shared with each other during their marriage. 


"Dad, although you're no longer here, please be a guiding hand to us in preserving our marriage and family happily."

My Daddies!

The past 2 weeks of this month were sooo difficult, that all I had to do was to surrender everything to God. In those days, I've regularly went to my parents' bedroom, talked to my dad's photo, and asked him to pray for me. I've also requested him to guide me during this very challenging time that I've almost wanted to give up. I've been calling the names of my two fathers - my dad and God - to help me, guide me and give me the strength for my problem to be over.

Guess what?

My daddies really listened! :) God indeed exists and my dad's guiding hand has always been with me. I couldn't thank them enough for taking good care of me and my family during the time of trouble. All we need to do is call their name.

I love my daddies! 

Praise the Lord! 

Thank you Pops!

All Saint's Day 2014

Later today, we'll be off to my Papa's resting place to spend the night there in observance of the All Saint's Day. We'll be holding a prayer, offer some flowers (I've already bought some last night!) and will remember him through the chats within our families. The cemetery will be extremely alive later I'm sure. Our family and some of our closest relatives will be there. Papa will surely be smiling!

You're always in our hearts Pops!

Repeated Dreams

Had several dreams about Papa recently. Perhaps it's because All Saint's Day is fast approaching. Subconsciously, I may be thinking about him coz of the excitement in being able to spend a night on his grave site with our family and close relatives.

Still, those dreams may just be a by-product of my deep longing for him...

Still missing you Pops! ;'(

Memories of Papa

The other day, my hubby and I had our lunch at a new mall in the metro. I just love those moments. Laid back. Having lunch with him on a lazy Monday afternoon. Had a cheesecake before we ate our rice meals was incredibly fun. Reminiscing our past experiences and talking about our plans for the future. I saw an old man having lunch alone. I remembered my Dad. That moment when he came home, holding two bags filled with McDonalds treats-for me and my baby. I imagined him placing an order on a McDonald counter. Perhaps he didn't say the exact value meal number that corresponds to his order. :) Maybe he just mentioned that he wanted a cheeseburger, large fries and drinks and that's it! Oh, my father! Aside from my mom, he's the most thoughtful and generous person whom I've met. Still expressing his love and concern for me even if I was already married and have my own kid. That's my dad. And he continuously inspires me to apply the the wonderful and positive things which he taught me on my daily life even now that he's gone.

Pa, thanks for the memories of love and selflessness.

Pops' 65th Birthday

Papa's birthday celebration last Sept. 7 was sooo much fun! His birthday fell on a Monday so we decided to hold it on a weekend. So thankful we made that decision. My mom made a delish baked mac and it was the highlight of the meals we prepared there. Rice, pork dishes, native delicacies, etc. made our tummies super happy. We spent Papa's special day in a way that he would have definitely enjoyed- yummy meals, bonding with the whole family, as well as with our relatives and friends. After holding a prayer, we stayed throughout the late afternoon on his grave site and left at past 7 pm. The cemetery was pitch-black! Eerie and fun. Perhaps fun because it was almost 20 of us. :)

If my Papa is still alive, he's already 65 by now. It's been almost a couple of years. I have made a lot of decisions inspired by his memories. I miss him badly and I still feel that tightness on my chest whenever I see his photos.

Happy Birthday Papa! I miss you so much. I'm asking God to bless you with peace and give us the courage to face life without you- till we meet again.

Papa's Visit In My Dream

I'm so glad that my dad visited me in my dream yesterday. It was all blurry, as with any other dream but the definition of his face was crystal clear. He was lying on a bed and he just stood beside me, asking me to place an electricfan beside his bed as well as hand him a blanket. He was looking fine- not too healthy and not too sickly. When I gave him what he asked, he went back to bed and slept. I really have no idea on what was it about. I can't even produce a "possible" explanation as to what happened. Nevertheless, I felt better seeing him alive in my dream. That's the only way I can see him alive, aside from the photos of our wonderful times together, as well as the videos which showed the bittersweet memories of him- the Christmas celebrations and the random shots filled with his smiles, his voice and laughter, as well as a video in a hospital where he was lying for several days, talking with a voice that was never really "him"- weak, tired and in pain. God I miss him terribly, especially now that his birthday is approaching. It's been almost two years, but the pain still brings me to tears. Tears that express all the guilt, regret, sadness and loss...

Sometimes, when I look at your photos, I couldn't believe that you're really gone... I miss you Pops!

Fatherhood Quotes

I've been planning to compile a list of quotes about fathers and celebrations that relate to fatherhood. Oh, given my busy schedule, I need to find time for me to achieve that task. I know that it'll serve as an inspiration to me but to those who are seeking comfort by reading heartfelt quotes about their fathers!

I will definitely Will post the said compilation here soon! :)

Strengthened By Faith

I did one of the most drastic decisions in my life last year- and now I did one again. I full of optimism and faith that God will grant us success in every endeavor that we are going to make. I don't want to be stuck in my comfort zone and be scared forever for failing. The worst has happened to me- that's losing my dad- and I don't wanna lose the essence of living while I am still alive.

Thank you Lord for the enlightenment and strength. I surrender everything to you. Please continually guide us. 

Papa, thank you for inspiring us. You are always remembered and loved!

Forever Thankful...

So thankful to God that He has given me another year filled with so many blessings, a huge part of those blessings are intangible ones but so far the most important- love, affection, generosity, strength and courage, among others. I had a week-long birthday celebration till the 1st week of July (and still lacked the funds, mind you!). Went out of town with my hubby and son, had a mini-feast at home with the whole fam and took some treats to the office for my friends and colleagues. I love the feeling of being able to share my blessings (despite of its limited-ness) and I would love to practise generosity not only on special occasions like this but on a regular basis- I thank my dad for showing me how he lived by generosity and open-handedness when he was still alive...

Love you Pops and I continually do my best to improve and live by the positive things you've taught me...

My Second Birthday Without Papa: Realizations

This coming Monday is my 30th birthday- the 2nd birthday celebration without Papa. The thought of his passing still brings me to tears. I will never get over it. I miss him on the regular days and miss him terribly on the special events and great milestones in my life. While I was able to learn a lot from him when he was still alive, I've realized that I've gained several life lessons when he left us. Brevity of life, appreciation,  self-reflection by being in touch with myself and spending quality time with my loved ones are just some of the few realizations that I was able to ponder on when he died. I admit that I've been doing a lot of new things now, which I was always procrastinating on before. Bold choices and drastic decisions are also a part of it. I don't know if I'm running out of time, but sure his passing led me to this thinking that we have to maximize our time here on Earth. Grab the opportunity that God has given us. Live the life the way we want it to be. Build our dreams not only for ourselves but for our children and the succeeding generations. We may not be able to stay here on Earth for good- but as one saying goes, we should hope to create something that will last- forever.

"Dear Lord, thank you for the blessing of another year. Please grant me as well as my loved ones many more birthdays to come. And help us live by the wisdom our Papa has shared with us. Papa, thank your for being an instrument for me to have the gift of life. We love and miss you!"

Second Father's Day Without my Father

Last Father's Day was the 2nd Father's Day celebration without Papa around. We went to visit his resting place, brought some snacks and spent the Sunday afternoon bonding with the whole family- held a prayer then went on chatting about everything and anything. The focal point of our chit-chats was a business plan. I am confident that if Papa was there listening to our discussion, he will be extremely happy. He's got brilliant ideas with regards to putting up businesses. It's just that he wasn't able to execute them all. He's got amazing

strategies that he casually shared with us and although he was not able to fully actualize them, the lessons in life as well as his words of wisdom will always be cherished. 

"Happy Father's Day Papa. It's true, your guiding hand will remain with us forever. Please pray for our plans. May God bless us on our endeavor! "

My Parents' 38th Wedding Anniversary

On May 19, we celebrated my parents' 38th wedding anniversary. Hard as it may seem but it's the 2nd wedding anniversary that we celebrated without my Papa around. Missing him is an understatement...

It was a Monday and so we weren't able to visit Papa in his resting place. Simple meals and gifts for Mama (I've given her a set of beauty essentials), our  greetings with hugs and kisses were all enough for her to cheer up. A offered prayer for my Papa's soul and for my mom's strength to face the loneliness of missing Papa and the challenges that will come along our way. There are still a lot of things to do, so many dreams to achieve in so little time. God grant us the hours and chance to achieve them.


Wherever you are Pops, Happy Wedding Anniversary to you and Mama! We love and miss you!

Another Great Song To Aid My Grief

I've been listening to the song Takipsilim since last week and hands down to Gloc 9 and Regine Velasquez! Being in the same genre of OPM but having different styles, I never expected that their collaboration will become a huge success! Musically, the song is superb. Not too melancholic and not that upbeat. It's a great candidate for a LSS (Last Song Syndrome) indeed. Lyrically, it's one of the best. I could say that the literal meaning and the underlying tones of the song discuss a lot of things in life. The song is like a short story that tackles about the people we lose, the actions we did prior to losing that special someone, the regrets, the realization that we couldn't never take them back and the lesso- everything enveloped with a music that is a mixture of subtle melodies that allows you to reminisce and reflect and the upbeat tones that'll energize you with loads of positivity and to look forward to a brand new life! To learn from the mistakes of the past, to face what has happened with full acceptance and an undying faith to God to get up and move on with our lives from that pain.


*Will include a YouTube link soon! :)

Song for the Grieving Heart: Salamat by Yeng Constantino

The song "Salamat" by Yeng Constantino has been played in 2006 I believe. It's a lovely song and though I appreciate the transformation of Yeng Constantino through the years, this song is truly beautiful melodically and lyrically. It's also very applicable for those who have been heartbroken- both by love and by death. I could relate to the latter, or maybe both coz I've lost my Papa- experiencing his loving ways through his presence will never happen again when he left us. I couldn't help myself but cry while I heartwrenchingly reminisce the days we have with my Pops. Regrets, regrets... Everything I've done, words I've spoken and all the things I've shown were never enough.

May this song be a help to you as well in easing the pain of losing a loved one. 



Salamat Pa! 

Celebrating My Mom's Birthday in 2014

Celebrating my mom's birthday has always been a bit painful ever since Papa has left us. When Papa was still alive, there have been a few birthdays where we were not really able to celebrate it in an extravagant way due to financial constraints though we were happy appreciating the blessings of yet another year. When someone you love is gone, having your birthday without that loved one beside you is truly difficult. There's just some kind of natural pain that cannot be eased and a void that cannot be filled even if you're having a luxurious party without that person...

We celebrated my mom's birthday simply at home. A few of yummy Filipino dishes were served. Halo-halo ice cream and the Conti's Mango Bravo are a staple. A week after her birthday, hubby and I decided to give her an all expense-paid trip to Subic! She was very excited when I told her about it. We booked a premier suite with breakfast  for her and Ate Lita and a deluxe suite for me, hubby and baby at the Subic Waterfront Resort and Hotel. We stayed there after spending a night at hubby's house with his family. That's our 2014 birthday treat for Mama and we had so much fun! Yet all the time we were wishing that we have Papa with us to have a some rockin' good time. 


We miss you Papa! Thanks for visiting mama in her dreams on the day of her birthday. You truly love us!  :)

A Message About Heaven?

Last Tuesday, the scent of fresh flowers surrounded my room for almost 10 minutes, I even called my Ate Lita's attention if someone doing's some laundry downstairs! It's funny coz there's none. I'm not even surprised if he visited us especially now that we are a few days close to my brother's birthday. Last Wednesday, my bro had a dream about Papa. My brother narrated that he found my Papa lying on a bed. He looked good and healthy. He was telling my brother these words: "I'm fine staying there. We are planting crops. We are farming. There's this big guy over there who watches over us. We are fine."

When I heard those words, I just felt a sudden lump on my throat. I didn't know which belief should I trust on and I admit, I did question. Is it just a mere product of my brother's imagination? Or is it my dad's message to us telling him that he's already happy with the life he has gained after death with the Lord? I prefer to believe the latter. Indeed, faith it is.

The other day my hubby offered a mass for Papa alongside offering a mass for our neighbor, Tita Edith, who died last Thursday in her sleep. She was very loving and generous and she loved kids! I know Tita Edith and Papa have now met in heaven! :)




Dad, brother Eric's birthday is today. Please pray for him that he may have good health and more years full of blessings and opportunities. Pray for us too that God may continually guide and bless us. We miss you Pa! I love you so much Papa! Please comfort me as I tend to miss you more now. The reality of you being gone is slowly sinking in now and it's still painful. Please Pa, comfort me, mama and the whole family. 

Reminiscing Papa's Interests On Strange Looking Cars

I've written a promotional blog about car enthusiasts for an Australian client and I only have thoughts about my Papa's interest on extraordinary-looking cars. Yeah, those killer looks! The simple, stock sedans and SUVs do not appeal to him. Those with odd styles and designs amuse him big time. And it's obvious that his admiration for cars was passed to me and my brothers, as well as my son! :)

Childhood Memories With Papa

Afternoon naps with him.
A swing made of an old tire under a huge mango tree.
The day he enrolled me in 4th grade and accompanied me in buyning school supplies.
The medal he put on me during the awarding.
The black shirt with that green leopard's head print. The animal print trend and Katy Perry's "Roar" style make me recall those days when I shyly wore that shirt in 1997! 
These are the memories I'll treasure forever. 

Whew! As the song goes, "If only I could turn back time..." :)


Dad, you loved me. You extremely loved me! I miss you...

Second Valentine's Day Without Papa

The Valentines Day year fell on a Friday so our family decided to have a double celebration done as an afternoon bonding on Papa's resting place. I wasn't able to come as I was sick (curse that wisdom tooth, ugh!) and my son was just recently discharged from the hospital. Hubby took care of us of course and so the three of us decided to stay home.

Our close relatives also joined the rest of the family on that visit. If Papa's looking down from heaven, a smile will surely be painted on his face as we celebrate Ate Lita's birthday and Valentines day on where his earthy body lies. 

Happy Valentines Day Pops! 

Thank you for all the love and care you showered upon me for 28 years! Our love for you will never end when you have gone back home to the Lord. 

How to Deal with the Death of a Loved One

I'm glad to include here my article in dealing with the pains of losing a loved one. I have written it just days after my Dad has passed away. It helped me big time to cope with his death and I also hope that it will aid others in handling their grief whatever way they choose to. 

How to Deal with the Death of a Loved One

2nd New Year Without Papa

Time flies by very fast indeed. Before we knew it, we were all geared up towards meeting the new year 2014. We have decided to celebrate it at my brother Allan house. I was very happy to spend it with my family but still feel a sense of incompleteness knowing that Papa isn't with us anymore. We brought his photo there, offered a prayer and talked about a lot of familial stuff but still that void will never be filled. The challenge is how we would face that reality. And we all have chosen to deal with it with a whole lot of positivity. I know Papa is guiding us every in every step we take- taking care of us and praying for us. He will always be in our hearts forever. 


Dad, you will never be forgotten... Happy New Year!