Song for the Grieving Heart: Salamat by Yeng Constantino

The song "Salamat" by Yeng Constantino has been played in 2006 I believe. It's a lovely song and though I appreciate the transformation of Yeng Constantino through the years, this song is truly beautiful melodically and lyrically. It's also very applicable for those who have been heartbroken- both by love and by death. I could relate to the latter, or maybe both coz I've lost my Papa- experiencing his loving ways through his presence will never happen again when he left us. I couldn't help myself but cry while I heartwrenchingly reminisce the days we have with my Pops. Regrets, regrets... Everything I've done, words I've spoken and all the things I've shown were never enough.

May this song be a help to you as well in easing the pain of losing a loved one. 



Salamat Pa! 

Celebrating My Mom's Birthday in 2014

Celebrating my mom's birthday has always been a bit painful ever since Papa has left us. When Papa was still alive, there have been a few birthdays where we were not really able to celebrate it in an extravagant way due to financial constraints though we were happy appreciating the blessings of yet another year. When someone you love is gone, having your birthday without that loved one beside you is truly difficult. There's just some kind of natural pain that cannot be eased and a void that cannot be filled even if you're having a luxurious party without that person...

We celebrated my mom's birthday simply at home. A few of yummy Filipino dishes were served. Halo-halo ice cream and the Conti's Mango Bravo are a staple. A week after her birthday, hubby and I decided to give her an all expense-paid trip to Subic! She was very excited when I told her about it. We booked a premier suite with breakfast  for her and Ate Lita and a deluxe suite for me, hubby and baby at the Subic Waterfront Resort and Hotel. We stayed there after spending a night at hubby's house with his family. That's our 2014 birthday treat for Mama and we had so much fun! Yet all the time we were wishing that we have Papa with us to have a some rockin' good time. 


We miss you Papa! Thanks for visiting mama in her dreams on the day of her birthday. You truly love us!  :)

A Message About Heaven?

Last Tuesday, the scent of fresh flowers surrounded my room for almost 10 minutes, I even called my Ate Lita's attention if someone doing's some laundry downstairs! It's funny coz there's none. I'm not even surprised if he visited us especially now that we are a few days close to my brother's birthday. Last Wednesday, my bro had a dream about Papa. My brother narrated that he found my Papa lying on a bed. He looked good and healthy. He was telling my brother these words: "I'm fine staying there. We are planting crops. We are farming. There's this big guy over there who watches over us. We are fine."

When I heard those words, I just felt a sudden lump on my throat. I didn't know which belief should I trust on and I admit, I did question. Is it just a mere product of my brother's imagination? Or is it my dad's message to us telling him that he's already happy with the life he has gained after death with the Lord? I prefer to believe the latter. Indeed, faith it is.

The other day my hubby offered a mass for Papa alongside offering a mass for our neighbor, Tita Edith, who died last Thursday in her sleep. She was very loving and generous and she loved kids! I know Tita Edith and Papa have now met in heaven! :)




Dad, brother Eric's birthday is today. Please pray for him that he may have good health and more years full of blessings and opportunities. Pray for us too that God may continually guide and bless us. We miss you Pa! I love you so much Papa! Please comfort me as I tend to miss you more now. The reality of you being gone is slowly sinking in now and it's still painful. Please Pa, comfort me, mama and the whole family. 

Reminiscing Papa's Interests On Strange Looking Cars

I've written a promotional blog about car enthusiasts for an Australian client and I only have thoughts about my Papa's interest on extraordinary-looking cars. Yeah, those killer looks! The simple, stock sedans and SUVs do not appeal to him. Those with odd styles and designs amuse him big time. And it's obvious that his admiration for cars was passed to me and my brothers, as well as my son! :)

Childhood Memories With Papa

Afternoon naps with him.
A swing made of an old tire under a huge mango tree.
The day he enrolled me in 4th grade and accompanied me in buyning school supplies.
The medal he put on me during the awarding.
The black shirt with that green leopard's head print. The animal print trend and Katy Perry's "Roar" style make me recall those days when I shyly wore that shirt in 1997! 
These are the memories I'll treasure forever. 

Whew! As the song goes, "If only I could turn back time..." :)


Dad, you loved me. You extremely loved me! I miss you...

Second Valentine's Day Without Papa

The Valentines Day year fell on a Friday so our family decided to have a double celebration done as an afternoon bonding on Papa's resting place. I wasn't able to come as I was sick (curse that wisdom tooth, ugh!) and my son was just recently discharged from the hospital. Hubby took care of us of course and so the three of us decided to stay home.

Our close relatives also joined the rest of the family on that visit. If Papa's looking down from heaven, a smile will surely be painted on his face as we celebrate Ate Lita's birthday and Valentines day on where his earthy body lies. 

Happy Valentines Day Pops! 

Thank you for all the love and care you showered upon me for 28 years! Our love for you will never end when you have gone back home to the Lord. 

How to Deal with the Death of a Loved One

I'm glad to include here my article in dealing with the pains of losing a loved one. I have written it just days after my Dad has passed away. It helped me big time to cope with his death and I also hope that it will aid others in handling their grief whatever way they choose to. 

How to Deal with the Death of a Loved One

2nd New Year Without Papa

Time flies by very fast indeed. Before we knew it, we were all geared up towards meeting the new year 2014. We have decided to celebrate it at my brother Allan house. I was very happy to spend it with my family but still feel a sense of incompleteness knowing that Papa isn't with us anymore. We brought his photo there, offered a prayer and talked about a lot of familial stuff but still that void will never be filled. The challenge is how we would face that reality. And we all have chosen to deal with it with a whole lot of positivity. I know Papa is guiding us every in every step we take- taking care of us and praying for us. He will always be in our hearts forever. 


Dad, you will never be forgotten... Happy New Year!

2nd Christmas Without Papa (2013)

It's the 2nd Christmas without Papa around. Of course, this one's less painful than the one in 2012 but it is still PAINFUL!! God, we miss him badly and I know that deep in our hearts we only have one wish- for him to be with us again, and knowing that it's impossible then we go to our next option of offering a prayer for him and just be present for each other.  I'm glad that our family is closer now but also sad that we had to experience this kind of loss before getting closer to each other. I mean, we were fine way before but what we have right now is some kind of a bond that is mixed with a fear of losing each other...



Merry Christmas Papa!! Please pray for us, that God may give us strength without you. You're always in our prayers Papa, never a day passes without thinking of you and a prayer offered for you. We love you Papa!!

2nd Memorial Tattoo

I have gotten my 2nd Tribute tat for my father several days after his 1st Death Anniversary and just a couple of days before Christmas. I did it to honor his memories and also the pain I've went through with it signifies the end of my mourning. But as I've stated with my recent blog, I don't think my grief will end. Nevertheless, it's one of the gifts that I had for him as I do believe that my prayers, cherishing his memories and the pain I had while getting the tat done are the intangible things that I feel are worth offering to him.

It's his signature with a heart!! :)


I love you so much Pops! Don't know if you still feel our love or we will meet again but FAITH is the only thing that keeps me holding on.